What A Difference Three Years Makes

I was going through our Caring Bridge site and found this. This time of year is always bittersweet, but this is a good reminder of what a blessing she was... and continues to be.

Thursday, February 5, 2009 10:23 AM, CST
Pain. It's something I've never really thought alot about. Last night, that was not the case...
I was lying on the couch- quite uncomfortable as usual. Since Lilly Kate's level of fluid is so high, it is sometimes painful when she moves around or gets situated in a certain place. Last night as she was moving around, I thought not about the pain but how lucky I am that I get to spend this time with her. Each movement, each pain is a reminder that she is there. Every moment that I have with her, no matter how painful, is precious.
I started to think of my emotional pain the same way. There are days when I lie in bed and cry because it hurts so much and I want to bring her home so badly. But what if I never felt this pain? What if I never went through any of this at all? But instead- each pain is a reminder of how lucky I am to have this little soul to love, and to help me grow. It is a reminder how precious life is, no matter how short. It is a reminder to me that this grief, this pain, is an expression of my love and for that I am beyond blessed. Aside from bringing two healthy babies home, I wouldn't change a thing. I have been blessed with so many things- and the pain just happens to be a part of it. After all, you can't have a beautiful garden without a little rain...